Are you creating walls or boundaries? I recently asked this question in one of my Gift Focused Living classes. The participants looked at me puzzled. The answer may not be as clear cut as you think. This is because when walls are present clarity is typically one of the first things to go. Walls create confusion while boundaries diminish it. Here are a few tips to help you distinguish the difference.
In order to truly know if you are creating a wall or boundary you have to tap into your feelings. I always say if you feel like someone just took the wind out of your sails you probably have a wall up. Walls feel deflating while boundaries make you feel more inflated.
Walls tend to be stickier than boundaries. For example, with a wall you are more likely to visit the same feelings (e.g. worry) over and over again. Boundaries on the other hand increase opportunities to experience something new. For example, I remember trying to get someone to like me. I would give this person a compliment or offer to help. Once I choose to limit (boundary) my interactions other opportunities began to reveal themselves. It turns out all the trying actually hindered my growth.
Lastly, walls are built off the illusion of power. You might think they are protecting you from pain and anxiety however, that is usually not the case. Boundaries are built from value not pain. As you increase your sense of worth your desire and need to hang onto walls diminish.
If this topic interests you, you are going to love my latest book Choosing Love. Pre-order it today! www.sheriannaboyle.com. Stay connected with me on facebook, twitter and instagram.
Until next time
Your Love Assistant,