How to Surrender
By Sherianna Boyle
Are you having a hard time letting go? Surrender is a state of non-resistance. It is a state of being when you allow yourself to release the need to change what has happened or what you believe could happen. Learning how to surrender is essential to the development of higher emotional, social skills such as self-discipline, collaboration, acceptance and forgiveness.
Letting go sometimes encourages judgement. In other words, there may be a part of you that wants to judge the thing in front of you as either good or bad. Surrender on the other hand, is about releasing our will, ego, and resistance over to something or someone greater than ourselves. For some this will be the universe, God, spirit, whatever resonates with you.
Surrendering and Letting Go
Surrender takes in the bigger picture beyond what you currently see or know. This is the more soulful part of ourselves. The human side of you may say, I don’t like what is happening and therefore, I want to stop or control it. While the soul sees how this experience may be helping you mature both on a physical and spiritual level. So long as you don’t equate surrender with giving up, it can never hurt you.
With that said, there can be a place and time for letting go. Mindful practices such as breathing in what you need (e.g., compassion) and breathing out what you don’t (e.g., excess stress) can be a gentle way to alleviate stress. These types of practices and exercises can often bring you to a place of surrender.
Ways to Surrender
Prayer
Many faith-based groups and programs such as Alcoholic Anonymous have stood the test of time, illustrating the power of surrender. Many of these groups begin and/or conclude their meetings with The Serenity Prayer. This is their way of staying strong, united, and to keep their higher power (rather than alcohol or other temptations) at the center of their life.
I once had a friend who did not have a drinking problem but used to attend group meetings on a regular basis. When I asked her why, she said, “I have an addiction to thinking and these groups help me release it.” Her response did not surprise me, as a 2009 study on the effects of prayer on anxiety and depression found that “members of a group had lower rates of depression and anxiety and were more optimistic after sessions in which they prayed for one another, compared to the control group (which had no prayer sessions).”
Sources: The psychological benefits of prayer | CNN
Mantras
Practicing mantras are another way to know what true surrender feels like. Mantras give you the means to detach from fearful thinking and instead allow yourself to enter a state of bliss- where true surrender exists. Below are three mantras to help get you started:
I am safe. Repeat this phrase several times in a row out loud, after you are done repeating, take a deep inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth or nose. Sit quietly, noticing the shifts in your energy for a minimum of one minute.
Sat Nam. Sat Nam is a Sanskrit mantra which translates to truth is my identity. Repeat twenty-five times in a row or more out loud. After the last one, inhale and exhale with your breath. Then sit in silence for one minute.
Hum. Repeating the word hum out loud several times in a row can help release triggers, fearful beliefs or narratives. Many people equate surrender with letting other people off the hook. This is not at all what surrender means. Surrender is about giving yourself permission to be free to live a life of peace, joy and happiness.
Recommended Book: Mantras Made Easy
Recommended Mantra: Hum Mantra Meditation
Support
As the founder of Emotional Detox Coaching® and spiritual teacher, I find it can be easier to surrender when you are in a supportive environment one that includes structure, consistency, skill building, a sense of belonging, safety, compassion and trust. This is especially important to empaths, because without support, empathic individuals can easily equate surrender with loss.
Understandably, when learning how to surrender it can be a bit scary and overwhelming for anyone. This is why telling someone to just let it go, rarely works. If you are someone who is tired of worrying about every little thing, drained by your life circumstances and approaches, take time to develop your surrender abilities with the help of a therapist, support group, coach or trusted mentor can really help.
Try the Hum Mantra
Sherianna Boyle is a best-selling author of numerous books, founder of Emotional Detox Coaching®, and a popular podcaster. Her books are available at all bookstores.