3 Essential Tips: To Keep Your Resolutions in Motion
by Sherianna Boyle
When I was younger, my parents turned their New Year’s resolutions into a competition.
Smoking for my parents had become a bad habit, a way to cope with the daily stress and pressure. I vividly remember watching my mother talk on the phone for hours, puffing away as she vented about the events of her day to close friends and family members.
But all this changed with a friendly bet on New Year’s Eve: who could refrain from smoking the longest. While my parents fully admitted sneaking in a cigarette here and there, within a few months each of them had quit their smoking habit for good.
According to Forbes magazine, only 8% of American’s achieve their New Year’s Resolutions. So years later I wondered what exactly led to my parents’ success. After looking into the research, I discovered three essential ingredients to keeping your resolutions in motion. These led to my parents’ victory and could be key to yours.
How to Keep Your Resolutions
1) Be Specific with Your Goal/s
My parents set a goal that was clear and could be measured. It wasn’t I want to “cut back” or “curb smoking” the bet was on quitting smoking all together. In order to quit something, it helps to not have the item within reach. So, if you are looking to cut back on potato chips, you are better off not having them in the cabinet at all.
Here are a few examples for how to make your resolutions more specific:
Rather than I want to lose weight, reframe to I want to lose five pounds.
Rather than I want to get organized, reframe to I want to clean out and reorganize my bedroom closet or the garage.
Rather than I want to take more time for myself, reframe to I want to spend ten fifteen minutes a day taking a walk, meditation or reading a book.
Rather than I want to learn how to play an instrument, reframe to I want to learn how to play guitar.
2) Keep it Non-Linear
Growth and change are a non-linear process. In other words, some days you move forward while other day you might take a step back. My parents fully confessed they cheated here and there along the way. What leads to victory is when you reframe “mistakes” as “opportunities for growth.” In other words, having a slip or skipping exercise for a few days can be an opportunity to learn more about yourself.
Notice what was on your mind during those days, how you were spending your time. It can also be an indication that you might need to make a few adjustments. For example, would you do better with smaller amounts of exercise? Are your expectations too high? Would you prefer to exercise outside versus indoors? Just notice what is happening as value feedback.
3) Practice Self-Discipline
If your New Year’s resolutions seem like a punishment, then you will be less likely to keep them. In other words, let go of the “good,” “bad,” “right,” versus “wrong,” mentality. Choose to be disciplined over harsh. Discipline is based on respect. I can’t recall what my father’s process was, however, I remember my mother had a very strong, “I can” attitude. Respect yourself through the process by watching your thoughts and words. Here are some suggestions on how to reframe negative thinking into positive affirmations:
Reframe: I can’t … to … I choose
Reframe: I will never … to … I look forward to
Reframe: I screwed up … to … I am learning
Celebrate Your Wins
It has been over forty years since my parent’s smoked cigarettes. While they accomplished many things in their lifetime, this is one they can certainly be proud of. I truly believe being specific, non-linear and self-disciplined helped them get there. With that said, it is important to celebrate your wins along the way. Be proud of even the smallest amount of progress and never underestimate what you are capable of.
Sherianna Boyle is the author of the Emotional Detox book series, most recently Emotional Detox Now: 135 Self-Guided Practices to Renew Your Mind, Heart & Spirit. Become an Emotional Detox member to join live weekly yoga and meditation.